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1st Principle
Be Yourself
In a highly labeling and imitation-prone society such as ours, as it is an entertainment culture first of all, there is very little original content.
People are dulled and comforted in believing that worldwide democracy brings them more freedom of self-expression. There is self-publishing now established everywhere, and you can yell your opinions in the world, using Youtube and other free video hosting services. But when you actually browse the content of those sites, you find, besides masses of pirated, and a lot of fake content, very little original content.
You find very rarely that people express their worldview in a way that what they say really makes sense. Either they imitate others or what they say is outright off-track, subjective, outlandish, if not outrageous.
This teaches with lots of evidence that self-thinking is really not the order of the day today among humans. Never before in human history did we have such an array of free options for people to express themselves creatively, using modern technology and the international networks provided by the http protocol that is today used all over the Internet. And what do they do? For the most part they complain about the ‘bad world’, talk, if they talk at all, about conspiracies and the end of the Mayan Calendar, and secret governments, as if there was nothing else to talk and publish about. These are the younger ones.
In addition, I have browsed the content of two of the major self-publishers, iUniverse and Lulu. Here, as self-publishing with these providers is not entirely free, you find mostly older people publishing their books and media here.
What do you find? House and garden, cooking recipes, home sweet home, how to feed your dogs and cats, the so-called self-help world of Mr. and Mrs. Little.
I have not one time found one single interesting book there, a book that you could imagine being published with a multinational publisher; this is why, logically, I have become critical if self-publishing is really what I need for publishing my books. So I must conclude that for somebody like myself, the world is not very different from before the time of worldwide self-publishing.
I am rejected, just as before, by literary agents and all those busy in the channeling industry, the industry that cares about what should be published internationally, and what not. My books do not talk about feeding dogs and cats or cut your Bonsai trees, but about issues that concern all of us in this catastrophic world. I have something to say and as it’s something substantial, they take good care that I am silenced. And when I publish with self-publishers I know already how I will look within the weeds of the worldwide garden, and in the showcase of worldwide self-help, as just another vanity author, as they call it …
Yet, this is exactly what I wish to tell you. I have understood my fate and do not worry, nor complain about it. When you are like me, a true creator, when you are a self-thinker, you know that you won’t have an easy kick-start in this kind of society that while it affirms everybody can publish what they like, is actually very self-protective. The managers of worldwide democracy know they don’t need to be afraid of the youngsters who yell their conspiracy stories out on Youtube and the elders who talk about their pets, plants and emotional pathologies on Lulu. But they may be afraid of people like me, and perhaps you, who really have something to say, and are not stupid enough for being offensive or outrageous, but rational-minded and smart.
Who is even more afraid than the managers of silence are the scientists that I am quoting in my books. They do not reply to me for the most part, when I write them and tell them about my reviews of their books. They are even more than our corrupt politicians the true protector spirits of worldwide stupidity! I was naive enough still some time ago to write to them and ask some of them to preface one of my books. I got silence, and silence again, or open contradiction, so I learnt my lesson.
This example can teach you much, as it teaches me much. It teaches you that success is not your petty home world, nor your youthful paranoia that somehow compensates for your emotional and sexual deprivation; and it also teaches both you and me that nothing in life is given for free –except life itself.
It needs a lot of belief in yourself, and the active work on your inner mind, day by day, to not succumb to their eternal stupidity, their eternal apathy, but sympathize with those who are like you, and there are a few, perhaps less than a percent of the world population, but that is still quite a lot of people. And you can in your heart bond with these people, who struggle like you and who do not give up on themselves and on being themselves, instead of selling your soul to the babyish devil of rosy worldwide consumerism that tries every day again to seduce you into eating more icecream, and more hamburgers, and into drinking more Coke, the proverbial black soup of international hypocrisy Made in USA …
When you are bathed in silence, despite all your mailings done, despite of your extensive web sites and the many books you offer there for sale or free of charge, and that are truly useful, not just fake, as most what you find on the Internet, then, I tell you, you can know that you are on the right path!
2nd Principle
Respect Your Soul Values
Never follow anything that is not in accordance with your soul values. Social values, as you see them around as societal guidelines of conduct do not guarantee your ultimate happiness and fulfillment as a soul being!
They are robot rules in a robot agenda.
Soul values are different from social values in they are coming from your deep source, your spiritual origins, the light that created you (and me), your inner god, angel or guide, the ultimate source of our beingness.
When society or any guru tells you to follow their doctrine, hold on and reflect inside first and consult your inner guide; check if this teaching is in accordance with your deepest intrinsic soul values. Behold, soul values go over many life cycles not just your present life cycle, thus they are cyclic, not transitory.
3rd Principle
Fight Timidity
Some people think timidity was something natural, especially those who come from cultures where it is frowned upon to show emotions, and where carefreeness and closeness with others is supposed to be intentional because probably sexual; in fact, when behavior is natural and spontaneous, there are hardly any afterthoughts when people meet with other people. It’s like breathing, then, largely unreflected, and there is a goodness connected to it. When people retreat in their inner world, they bear most of the time one or the other prejudice against the group, and networking with others, which means they have developed a defensive worldview.
While in our culture, still some time ago, timidity with women was considered a form of decency and of good education, the same doesn’t apply for men. Men who are timid suffer real disadvantages in social and professional life. I was one of them for about the first fifty years of my life, so I know what I am talking about.
Missing out on contact-making and befriending others is about the worst that can happen to you, except you are happily married, enjoy to be with your children, and are working in a stable, long-term government job.
4th Principle
Handle Negativity
I suffered from negativity for many years. Having been brought up in a problem family, I had been conditioned to be fatalistic and negative, and my own rather large mindset and basically positive outlook on the world and people was systematically eroded by my mother’s fearful and revengeful attitude, and her eternal complaints about the bad world.
Since my most tender years, I was eaten up by anxiety from morning to evening. Still in my fifties, now, I am suffering from compulsive sweating, while I could reduce a number of neurotic habits in earlier years. I have been robbed and cheated by men and women, and even children, over years and years, losing two thirds of my fortune, and developed a self-defeating pattern that made me work against myself, becoming my worst enemy.
The fears by and by grew in a real paranoia and I was at a point to face therapy, suicide or serious illness, and then made a wrong investment that cost me more than seventy thousand dollars of losses. Yet this downfall triggered a turning of the wheel. Instead of blaming myself or fate, I began to pray.
Upon my prayers and extended meditation, my dreams slowly began to change and were mirroring my behavior, in a way that dumbfounded me. I could hardly believe that through those dream visions, I was able to see myself, as a third person would see me. This allowed me to become fully conscious of my lacking relationship skills, and exaggerated fears, and I became painfully aware that all my life I had been living a shell existence.
In one dream the inner voice said:
— You do not believe in freedom!
I woke up with great relief, realizing that indeed I had denied to myself the most basic freedom over years and years, having lived in a tight net of complexes that were more and more strangling me.
The turning point occurred only a few weeks later, and it appeared like a miracle. I was once of a sudden, virtually from one minute to the next free of all that — what today I call a curse. I was simply free of it, it was behind me, and I felt like newborn.
The compulsive sweating largely ceased, the anxieties ceased completely, the terrible nightmares ceased, and I felt an inner peace so large and so wide I would never have thought can exist on earth.
5th Principle
Handle People
A French hotel manager I met one day in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, thought that the people of that country were difficult to motivate. Life acted upon his inner belief and attracted him staff that was generally unmotivated, hanging around lazily all day, complaining about their salary, and blaming the manager for their condition. This was quite astonishing to see because generally, in Cambodia, local staff does not behave that way.
That French manager was unable to motivate his staff because he projected upon them his stern belief they were ‘anyway lazy and unmotivated’. The result was a whole list of complaints I had collected over five days staying in that boutique hotel, that was excellently furnished, yet so badly managed. That manager had put his single focus on the hardware, and badly neglected the software, that is, the human element, which is something very often done wrong in managing hotels.
There is an old saying we should not only look at the beautiful motif on a vase or bowl, but also regard what it contains. Would you feel attracted to buy a China that contains spider webs, or a dead rat? Would you not be shocked and appalled when you discover the inside of the beautiful vase? Would you not become angry at the shop owner to show you such a beautiful object that yet contains such unpleasant items?
Would you not think that such a shop owner must have an upside-down mind, caring only for the outside of things, and neglecting the inside?
And yet, many managers have this attitude, worrying their corporate limousine not being the newest model, and at the same time overlooking that the driver of the car is underpaid, and overworked, thus risking an accident to happen because of his lacking sleep, and his high stress level.
6th Principle
Timing
A friend of mine, a 72-year old Korean banker and CEO of a small investment bank in Phnom Penh was telling me that with property acquisition the most important factor was not, as it is often assumed, location-location-location, but timing.
He said all the factors could be handled intelligently and dealt with, except timing. When timing is wrong, all is wrong, he concluded. This man had given me excellent advice for my own anticipated investment in real estate; as I was rather anxious to invest, he offered me his help and support, but I was still too little aware of the big opportunity and missed it.
Two years later he told me he had invested five hundred thousand dollars at that time, and in only a few months, the land he had bought was evaluated a net worth of five million dollars. Yet I had missed the moment, and time had been running against me. When I eventually wanted to climb on the bandwagon, he told me it was too late as property prices had virtually exploded and real estate was overrated.
I did not despair, taking it as a valuable lesson, praying to receive a hunch when new opportunities for property investment arise in the future. My Korean banker kindly assured me to keep his fingers crossed and his eyes open to spot any profitable deal for me and I was eventually free of those fears that had blocked my decision-making power, and told my friend I would grant him power of attorney the moment he sees a new chance for investment.
7th Principle
Resource Management
I met a property developer who had made twenty million dollars two decades ago. He considered himself very lucky, and began to lead a luxury life. He told me he had owned two handmade Porsche, that each cost him half a million dollars, and that for one birthday party he had spent one hundred thousand dollars. He proudly added that one bottle of Premier Cru red wine he served that night for his illustrious guests had cost him eight thousand dollars.
The man is not of the shy rut and acquainted with statesmen and some very rich and famous entrepreneurs, a fact that of course gives him repeatedly new self-esteem boosts. Yet he spent his money, obviously not caring for maintaining his fortune and just living from the interest; he touched the substance. He spent eighteen million dollars in about twenty years.
When I met him he had just two million dollars left and moved to Cambodia where he could play the big man, just as before, as in that country two million dollars is about as much as twenty million in his home country. He told me in his usual grand allure he is spending more than twenty thousand dollars every three months only on whores and call girls, bars and massage parlors.
While he prided himself working for the renovation of an embassy and was allegedly the best friend of the ambassador, the week thereafter he said that all ambassadors were madmen and that he had quit the contract, as their demands had been excessive. I then found out he simply had acted against the safety regulations of that embassy and thereby endangered their security. And despite his played-out professionalism and a grand seigneur attitude, every time I met this man, he asked me to invest money in a joint-business, and every week it was another project.
This man defied an old and established wisdom. While allegedly having much more money than I, he was asking me for money every time I talked with him.
What to think of such a man? Is he on the success track? Will he ever attract good and trustworthy partners and investors? Is his allure and entire lifestyle trust-inspiring?
And last not least, does this man know to manage his resources?
8th Principle
Be Compassionate
This is one of the strangest stories I have witnessed in my life. Some time ago I met a sexagenarian billionaire from Australia. We had spontaneous sympathy for each other and met at breakfast in a hotel in Phnom Penh. He was a small, fat man, very easy-going but with a trait of vulgarity, a true original. I had noticed him two days before we met, as he was regularly shouting at the staff in the restaurant, calling them lazy, stupid and all kinds of names.
He invited me over to his room that same day, together with the hotel manager he had equally befriended, and showed us a box of raw diamonds. He took several of them out, as if playing with glass balls, and slightly noted that that box had a value of approximately twelve million dollars.
He left it on his night table, without locking it, without even putting it in the cupboard. The room was very dirty, and the man was eating only junk food, not taking care of messing up the floor and his bed. The room actually looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned for at least a week. To make it worse, the man was smoking heavily, to a point that the air in the room was foggy. Later on he told me his net worth was about fifteen billion dollars.
One day he presented me to a friend of his, who founded an NGO for helping children who work, under terrible conditions, in a huge garbage dumb outside of the town. We had been chatting with him for a while, and I found he was a witty and courageous man and engaged myself at once to sponsor one of his trips, an investment of just a hundred and twenty dollars. After putting the money on the table, I asked my billionaire friend if he didn’t want to join, so much the more as he had presented me to that man. He shook his head, with a grin, saying:
— Are you kidding, buddy … me and give a penny to such nonsense? No, that’s not for me. You won’t see me giving my money for any of such humanitarian crap.
Upon which he put his arm around the bar girl who was sitting next to him, and I did of course not insist.
I met him several more times at lunch or dinner, and he was telling me he was not only lucky financially, but also in love, because he was married with the most gorgeous young woman, and that she was just twenty-five, a Procter & Gamble top manager in Thailand, and from a very good family from the Thai upper class. And that he was hard-on for her and couldn’t wait to fly back to Thailand to meet her.
As I did not hear from him for about two weeks, I called him, to learn he was in hospital and recovered from an urgency operation of his colon; that he had eaten in a good restaurant in Bangkok, but that the food had been poisoned with the result he had suffered a total colon closure.
The colon thus had to be opened surgically, which had been a very painful operation. As he did not seem to recover, his assistant told me he had returned to Australia without telling him and even his Thai wife where he was. He had cut all contacts from one day to the other.
And I was thinking very strongly of him and how his body had been putting on stage his words when we visited that organization. His body said:
— I do not want to give, I do not want to let something out of me, I want to keep it all inside.
His body had incarnated his words that said he was never wanting to give a penny for humanitarian nonsense. His assistant later told me I had not understood the severity of his illness and operation, and that he had almost died.
It made me pensive.
9th Principle
Be Ecstatic
Many people think it was inherent in modern consumer culture that people are very egoistic, and do not want to share. They ignore that the true reason for the inflation of the personal ego is lack of ecstasy. Ecstasy has never been understood in Western culture, while native cultures all have an ecstasy pattern built in their lifestyle, as I found it through my research on tribal cultures.
The truth is that we need ecstasy as much as we need to touch and being touched, as much as we need sleep and laughter. But ecstasy is not what most people in our culture think it was. It’s not group sex or any kind of fancy lifestyle, partying, ‘high life’ and all the rest of it. Ecstasy is a truly religious experience that is characterized by the fact that the ego is momentarily dissolved, and one experiences a deep union with all that is. Thus ecstasy is an ego-dissolving journey.
It is amazing to see how much of their time and energy humans invest in veiling the truth; in fact if the human was not by nature a truthful individual, only little energy would be needed. The fact that we need a gigantic worldwide media machinery for manipulating humans into corrupt and false ideas and ideologies proves this fact more than all. The human is a redundant wistful animal that always springs back to truth, because the mind may be able to bear distortions over long periods of time, but not the body.
You can experience ecstasy while watching a sunset, or being around people you have never seen, in a village, observing their interactions, or you may experience it when you play with children, or ride through the streets during the water festival in Thailand and get some water sprinkled all over you, or you may experience it while going on a boat tour, or in a villa in Bali, where late at night, you have a glass of wine near the pool, watching the silent moon and the stars, and feeling in union with all creation.
How you experience it is up to you, and different for all of us, but that you must experience ecstasy once in a while is a fact, for otherwise you easily slide into robotism, which is the lot of most people in today’s technological societies.
Behold, as long as you remain locked in your ego, you cannot realize great and worldwide success because typically huge, overwhelming success comes through serving others, through doing things that are beneficial not only for yourself but for a lot of other people, or even humanity at large.
To surpass your ego, you don’t need to get involved with any organized religion if you don’t want to. Suffices you remain open for wonder, the miracle, the unusual, and that you keep your heart open for novelty, and your skin receptive for the osmosis of love.
10th Principle
Live Your Love
I honestly never met anybody who was really successful yet was inhibited, trying to hide his loving attraction. When you meet really successful people you may be astonished how outspoken they are about their love choices! Their loves may be completely against the rules, and yet they just laugh about the common lot of those who are conformist and comply to society’s written or unwritten inhibitions.
This is not just chance. To be successful needs a lot latitude, a great and open mind, for if you are petty, you can’t find the great solutions that others haven’t found, and you can’t think big enough to realize them.
When you do anticipate those needs and when you do engage in thinking big, then you will do that also regarding your love, and you will not allow homo normalis or the boulevard papers to tell you what or whom you have to love, and whom you have to avoid.
We all have different love options, and we choose different love objects. We all have different fantasies about love and what we desire most in love.
There are no standards in love and the fact that humanity came up with marriage doesn’t mean anything, and in particular it doesn’t mean marriage is good or bad. Now in most Western nations, homosexuals can marry as well, but will that have really a positive impact upon their lives? I doubt it. Many men are happily married in the sense they enjoy to have a home and children, but their loving focus is not their home but mistresses they keep and that are kept secret, or not so secret, from their families. This is also something women are now claiming for themselves in most Western countries. Does that mean they are happier than before? I doubt it.
I think that love is fundamentally opposed to any kind of formal arrangement, however you may call it, as even concubinage now has legal consequences. Love is volatile and the excitement and value in love is exactly its freedom. To enclose and lock love in certain institutions, however you may call them, surely destroys it.
All those love-regulating institutions namely are based upon possession thinking. I own that partner, I own those children who are mine, I own this household with all living and dead objects in it, I am the owner of cars, houses, staff and family, I just own everything, and that is why I am rich! That is how many people think, and I guarantee you these people may be rich, but they are not happy. They have transformed their lives and loves into cemeteries of dead possessions.
What keeps you alive and full of vitality is real love, which is never established, never respectable, like a perfume in the air that you can’t store away, like a flower that you pick at the roadside.
The flower will keep alive for a few hours and may have a wonderful fragrance, but a day later, the fragrance has turned foul and shortly thereafter, the flower dies. So it is with love, which is a symbol for the temporary state of what we call life. It reminds us of the most important, which is death.
It is through the presence of death and through the acceptance of death that we really live vibrantly, and joyfully. You can’t take your possessions in the other world, but the loves you lived, the respectable ones and the non-respectable ones alike, you can bear them in your heart and they won’t vanish away after your passing over, for they are an energy, they are within your soul and thus eternal.
You will never forget them and those who truly loved you, be it in loving bonds that our society calls criminal, will never forget you.
Our society knows nothing about love, otherwise we wouldn’t be at the border of global ecological disaster and we wouldn’t have wars and genocide all over the world, and that’s why our society has no right and no mandate to tell you, and me, how we have to live our loves!
For one thing is sure, if you are going to dig your grave before you die, you will have a hard time to live, for you will be focused on your grave, and not upon your love.
So the solution is, if you want to be at all successful in life, socially, in your business, in your relationships, in your humanitarian activities, that you try to be successful first of all in your love, by living it without shame and guilt, by defying all the rules and all the moralistic trash that keeps you from engaging in the love that you feel and know is yours! Then, and only then will you be successful also in the rest of your life.
Points to Ponder
In this article, I proposed you some uncanny 10 Principles of Success.
This is something like a wake-up call. Ten principles of success? What does that mean? Just another quick fix? No. I tell you it means that these ten principles of success are first of all ten principles of how to deal with defeat.
The 1st success principle tells you how to deal with those nice or not-so-nice citizens that tell you you are a piece of crap or just ignore you (which essentially boils down to the same). Behold, I have done my homework, but have you done yours?
The 2nd success principle suggests you to respect your soul values, which are not transitory but cyclic and thus valid not only for this present existence, but your whole cycle of reincarnations. This means that in a conflict of interests, you should abide by your soul values instead of conforming with the conflicting social values.
The 3rd success principle is about fighting timidity. Part of your social existence is that you learn to be around others without shame or guilt. If you went through a guilt-inducing education, as many of us, you need to do something about this timidity that is a real handicap in social relations, especially when you are a man. While with women, timidity is often associated with decency, with men, in our society, timidity is considered a weakness, or a lack of smart. So learn to fight timidity, by doing something about your condition. For example, you may follow a hypnotherapy or setup a life plan to approach all people you feel funny about, females, pop stars, or your favorite scientist or pianist. Learn to approach them freely, and politely, and claim to get an answer, even if that answer consists only in a one-liner email, but still. And if you don’t get an answer, do by no means associate it with defeat — but take your conclusions about the human integrity of your great star. He or she might well melt down to human proportions, or even below!
The 4th success principle is to handle negativity. We all are negative once in a while, and it often comes over us without having been invited. And yet, it can destroy much. This mix of frustration, depression and negativity that is the result of high performance, and that comes up when things don’t go as expected while you invested all your skill and all your energy, is normal, but it can destroy relationships if you can’t control it. When you leash out on others, every time you are in this condition, and others don’t have enough latitude to understand why you do what you are doing, then you may lose many friends. It happened so in my own life, and it took me years to handle this problem. How did I handle it? First of all by reducing alcohol intake when alcohol served as a stimulant for workaholism. Eventually realizing that alcohol had become for me a medicine for fighting fatigue, and letting the fatigue take over, I was able to normalize my feelings, and my behavior, and my relationships normalized as a result. We have a natural way to deal with negativity: it is sleep. In sleep all our wounds are healed, but alcohol prevents sleep, and thus prevents healing, and makes it all worse.
The 5th success principle is about handling people, which requires tact, sensitiveness and smart. It requires you to remain as much as possible free of second-guessing people, free of limiting beliefs and projections, and free of general judgments about ‘all and everybody’. And when you are in a position that you have to motivate people, try to motivate yourself first, to perform yourself at the highest possible level. The secret is when you do that, you motivate the people around you without talking, by your mere beingness, nonverbally — and effectively. This is how real leaders behave. The way we act is what motivates others, not what we say and preach.
The 6th success principle is to have a sense of timing. Timing is often crucial in business, be it publishing a certain book, be it the acquisition of property, be it the opening of a restaurant in a strategic location. All our dealings on this plane are bound in time and space, which means time and space do have an impact on them. Time is especially crucial in banking matters, and in currency trading, as everybody knows, but also in subtler ways in other business decisions. On the other hand, sometimes, people are not, like myself, late in decision-making but act prematurely which can equally have disastrous results. For example, if you miss thorough inspection of all parameters upon entering a new business and you rush into it, simply for ‘gaining time’, you may meet with failure. So neither procrastinating, nor rushing ahead is the recipe for success, but spotting the right timing by getting a felt sense from your intuitive mind. What is good feels good!
The 7th success principle is about managing your resources wisely, and lead a lifestyle that inspires others to trust you; trust is needed, whatever business we are in. I have given a living example in the text without judging this person in any way, and leave it over to you to ponder it, and do an estimate about this person’s chances for future success.
The 8th success principle is to be compassionate, not ruthless, to understand others in their situations, to have a feeling for their misery or their luckiness, to empathize with them, and to be true in one’s feelings, not faking anything just for being ‘good and decent’. This means to be honestly interested in others, for when you are not, compassion is just a word. True compassion means that you see not only your own life, be it a lucky or less lucky one, but actually see a natural equality among all beings, as everybody has chances to make it, and become happy, wealthy and powerful. This equality or its contrary, our difference, is what should humble us, not in the contrary make us proud and selfish.
The 9th success principle is to practice ecstasy. I found through long research on native tribal cultures that one of the eight patterns of living they practice is ecstasy, and that’s the secret why they are happy and peaceful. Ecstasy is a state of religious union, or deep meditation, where you and the source are one. It is a state of union also for mind and body, and for psyche and soul, a state of bliss. How you practice ecstasy is largely up to you, but keep in mind that it is not an ego-inflating but an ego-dissolving journey and that it’s not linked to pleasure. The intricate fact about ecstasy is that it brings about joy, which is not pleasure but an entirely different vibration. Joy is not induced by pleasure and it’s not related to the ego and its remembrances of past pleasure. It is a state of novelty where the ego is temporarily put at rest so that the whole being can unfold. Let me relate that, not surprisingly so, I am experiencing deep ecstasy when I play piano, not when I play any written music, but let my own intuition guide my fingers and produce what cannot be put in words because it’s sheer bliss.
The 10th principle of success is to live your love, whatever it is and however society or homo normalis think about it. Love is never respectable and you can be sure that when it’s neatly packaged in conformist marriage, it’s no more love, because the perfume of it is gone. Our society has never practiced love which is why it has genocided so many tribal peoples who really knew what love is, and what love is not. Our society thus cannot tell you anything about your love. You have to know yourself, and this knowledge unfolds gradually through experience.
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This post was previously published on www.medium.com and is republished here under a Creative Commons license CC BY-ND 4.0.
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The post 10 Leadership Success Principles: A Roadmap appeared first on The Good Men Project.